Holy shit bro give up on everything. Just call it a day because there is no coming back from this. I don’t think there is a worse possible answer to this question. I just can’t even fathom how you could associate Magic Johnson with hockey. Magic is tall and black, two words that have never been used to describe a hockey player. Even if you’re not a fan of hockey, you know who Wayne Gretzky is and how little he has in common with Magic Johnson. If anyone asks you a trivia question about hockey, Wayne Gretzky is the answer like 90% of the time. Dude holds almost every conceivable record for the sport. I guess this guy went on to win, so first thing he should do with those winnings is invest in an almanac. Or at least upgrade his cable package to include ESPN so he doesn’t look like an idiot next time someone asks him a sports-related question in the future.
Seriously, what the hell happened to the Lakers? I know Kobe and Nash have missed a lot of time due to injuries, but this team is just downright terrible this year. They’re only two years removed from serious title contention. When the season started, if you would’ve told anyone that the Lakers would be the last team to win 20 games in the West they would’ve laughed in your face. And yet, here we are:
So where did it all go wrong, you ask? It all goes back to the rejected Chris Paul trade from a couple of years ago. Everything was set up nicely for the Lakers. They were prepared to give up Lamar Odom (a crackhead) and Pau Gasol (a pussy) to bring in Chris Paul, the best point guard the Lakers would have had since Magic Johnson. Going forward with a core of Kobe, Paul, and Bynum actually looked like it could challenge the ‘BIg 3s’ of Durant-Westbrook-Harden and James-Wade-Bosh. Instead, David Stern whipped out the long dick of the NBA and royally fucked over the Lakers. He basically said “I don’t want Chris Paul on the Lakers because then the Lakers would be too good and that’s not fair.” Like it’s somehow the Lakers’ fault that they are better at assembling competitive basketball teams than anyone else in the West. A few weeks later, Chris Paul is dealt to the Clippers, who were bad at the time, just as a final “fuck you” to the Lakers and their fans. So because David Stern is a scheming little bitch, the Lakers were unable to make moves in their best interest.
And the rest is history. After getting the trade they wanted done, then rejected, then approved for their crosstown rivals, the Lakers were forced to make some questionable moves to try and keep pace with all the other super teams assembling. Steve Nash and Dwight Howard were both brought in and both those experiments blew up in their face. They gave a bunch of money to Kobe, severely limiting their options in free agency, and they still can’t find anyone to take Gasol. If they can’t bring anyone in and get shafted in the lottery, it’s only downhill from here for the team and their fans. So welcome to the “Fuck David Stern” club Laker fans. I’ve been a member for a couple of years, but we’re always looking for new members. There’s plenty of us, trust me. If you don’t mind coming north you know where to find us. We have great coffee.